Mind
____________________________
Evening Sets Over My Hill
Evening sets over my hill
And I sit so still as if the earth did not spin
And even a touch I cannot feel
Dampened by guilt
As the yellow, amber, rose and green
Sink beneath my washed eyes in a dream
The dark denim sky is lit dim
But the street lights that unhide the faded gleam
Are hazed by shiny London rain it seems
I am motionless in a scene
Which cycles like a spinning wheel
That started spinning the day I got killed
The day I got killed I was on one knee
Praying that rain was the colour teal
Just so water was a wonder that felt surreal
As I fall asleep I become real
Alive again, screaming deep inside my skin
But my voice was silky soft like distilled gin
If only the night would turn pink
And my arms against my body would peel
And this heart would once again heal
But like the horizon I am never seen
Merely sitting on a line blurred by the sea
Where me and the heavens are bound to meet
In insignificance is the place to be
Like all those in between the kings and the queen
Settled like dust on a land I did not steal
Cemented in a space only I can fill
On this static rock where freedom is a sin
And the air is a whispered prayer to be listened
While the clouds glide with vim
And the morning begins to sink in
Tomorrow’s light seeps in through my window sill
The day barges like a deafening drill
And the noon splurges like the way water spills
But I am frozen like the sun in dusk’s debris
It may be forever I stay sat still
As evening over and again sets over my hill
____________________________
The Thought Of Suicide Is Enticing Again
I remember her sat frozen like a statue.
Water was streaming from the corners of her eyes so softly
As if condensing off the coldness of her stone.
What was inside was pure fire, vibrating with dire.
Her back was straight and her shoulders scarred,
Her neck was a nest for the raven bird.
Her hands held each other in helpless surrender because in this
foreign land letting go means cracking like trenches in the sand.
Her face was a mask polished and shined,
And it looked like plastic being drowned in a storm.
Her eyes trembled, her cheeks looked like worn paper,
And her mouth was a smile fixed in sublime,
But it was pain that stretched them with twine from both ends,
Tied to the world’s end.
Her hair was like a last thought,
Frizzy and sitting in the static air.
But her body was strong. It cried while braving the winds,
Being battered by heavy eyelids.
She lightly sat at an edge, but at least close to the ground.
Her legs were poised, supporting her hands,
Wanderlust away from the dense surround.
There was an eeriness to her sculpture;
Sometimes I wonder if it was Death she was facing.
Other times I think she was trying to free herself,
Because he was a face she was hoping to see less.
I will always remember the way that she sat,
And I will forever remember the words she didn’t say.
Because today I lay here with a refrain in my head like a stain:
The thought of suicide is enticing again.
____________________________
Momentary Escapism
Act I
The night felt anonymous to a whipped heart
Hurt by the sharp edge of street light.
Strapped a vice to my chest
As if a knife fuelling for a life
And left with words which knew what wasn’t
And feared the unknown end of a faceless sky
And tomorrow had no name
So tonight I say goodbye
I was anxious and cold and felt like a dream
Surreal like the in between scenes of a dying love.
Called a colour of the eyes
For a time to arrive
And stood like a strand on the field with the flies
And waited for the death of promise to show as a sight
And tomorrow had no name
So tonight I’ll say goodbye
Came a pair chained in a comfort of shy arms
With palms dangling with a sway of a swing.
Danced like sweet gin
With hands heavy on my skin
And started for the station while the grey came alive
And in false disguise set the moon over the sun
And tomorrow has no name
So tonight we say goodbye
Simply and so sweetly my eyes were tuned
To say hello with a toned casual like glance.
Distanced the end of time
As this night became motorised
And sprung like a diver into a water of candy sea
And felt like a crippling wreck against the sunset
And because tomorrow has no name
Tonight is my last goodbye
Act II
I was well rehearsed like an actor would seem
While reaching for memorised lines to cope.
Alienated my body
From all my being
And found the flow of a wave like the lies of a thief
And followed the set sun which had sank behind me
And realised tomorrow has no name
So why say goodbye to the night
Propped like a scarecrow in a field of marine shrub
Who feared a horizon that diminished with doubt.
Bathed outside in moonlight
While smoke healed a fire
And bled blood on the water which burned like a dream
And my feet caught the flames of the fleeting day
And tomorrow has no name
So goodbye to the night
The air felt heavy and the world began to fly
My skin was a canvas being painted with noise
Elevated with the music
As wind blew through me
And soared me steadily towards a now straying destiny
And the darkness of the clouds unmatched the midnight
And tomorrow was soon coming
So was it time for a goodbye?
There was a blur that hid somewhere in time
As I sought to find this missing mind of mine
Presented with a chance
Should have stolen a dance
And share a moment so perfectly planned like fate
And fulfill a cadance to the night which would forever resonate
And come tomorrow I will free this sin
So praise be to this momentary escapism
Act III
In a flash I saw Venus whirling towards the Earth
But with a daphne hue that opened eyes wider than the sun
Exchanged words and a bond
Over poetry and constellations
And soon beginnings were forgotten as new life bloomed
And a muse for the thin trees to grow was a moon-like smile
And now tomorrow had a new name
So to the night - goodbye
So as the day sent flying an invitation with soft hands
There was a hesitation to grasp and follow its pull
Enthralled by redness of mystery
The panicked heart pounded
And posed imperfectly with a grin screaming with fear
And made shy eyes across the ocean of stars with a wonder
And what did tomorrow have to say?
So was the thought which lingered
When the skies were dim I saw two planets collide
It was a spear puncturing stars enflated by angel dust
All sweetness turned sour
All laughter got louder
And ecstacy was consumed through evergreen eyes
And the tides magnified inside a body drowning under the light
And tomorrow had found itself a new name
It had already said goodbye
And so the night remained nameless and so did I
I couldn’t recognise the day’s eyes as yeasterday never walked by
Actuality begins to wake
As dawn began to break
And like a reflection on the sea, light sailed in like shards of glass
And the faceless sky was haunting with its curious scars
And tomorrow was gone like a stranger would go
And so was gone its inevitable goodbye
____________________________
____________________________
Evening Sets Over My Hill
Evening sets over my hill
And I sit so still as if the earth did not spin
And even a touch I cannot feel
Dampened by guilt
As the yellow, amber, rose and green
Sink beneath my washed eyes in a dream
The dark denim sky is lit dim
But the street lights that unhide the faded gleam
Are hazed by shiny London rain it seems
I am motionless in a scene
Which cycles like a spinning wheel
That started spinning the day I got killed
The day I got killed I was on one knee
Praying that rain was the colour teal
Just so water was a wonder that felt surreal
As I fall asleep I become real
Alive again, screaming deep inside my skin
But my voice was silky soft like distilled gin
If only the night would turn pink
And my arms against my body would peel
And this heart would once again heal
But like the horizon I am never seen
Merely sitting on a line blurred by the sea
Where me and the heavens are bound to meet
In insignificance is the place to be
Like all those in between the kings and the queen
Settled like dust on a land I did not steal
Cemented in a space only I can fill
On this static rock where freedom is a sin
And the air is a whispered prayer to be listened
While the clouds glide with vim
And the morning begins to sink in
Tomorrow’s light seeps in through my window sill
The day barges like a deafening drill
And the noon splurges like the way water spills
But I am frozen like the sun in dusk’s debris
It may be forever I stay sat still
As evening over and again sets over my hill
____________________________
The Thought Of Suicide Is Enticing Again
I remember her sat frozen like a statue.
Water was streaming from the corners of her eyes so softly
As if condensing off the coldness of her stone.
What was inside was pure fire, vibrating with dire.
Her back was straight and her shoulders scarred,
Her neck was a nest for the raven bird.
Her hands held each other in helpless surrender because in this
foreign land letting go means cracking like trenches in the sand.
Her face was a mask polished and shined,
And it looked like plastic being drowned in a storm.
Her eyes trembled, her cheeks looked like worn paper,
And her mouth was a smile fixed in sublime,
But it was pain that stretched them with twine from both ends,
Tied to the world’s end.
Her hair was like a last thought,
Frizzy and sitting in the static air.
But her body was strong. It cried while braving the winds,
Being battered by heavy eyelids.
She lightly sat at an edge, but at least close to the ground.
Her legs were poised, supporting her hands,
Wanderlust away from the dense surround.
There was an eeriness to her sculpture;
Sometimes I wonder if it was Death she was facing.
Other times I think she was trying to free herself,
Because he was a face she was hoping to see less.
I will always remember the way that she sat,
And I will forever remember the words she didn’t say.
Because today I lay here with a refrain in my head like a stain:
The thought of suicide is enticing again.
____________________________
Momentary Escapism
Act I
The night felt anonymous to a whipped heart
Hurt by the sharp edge of street light.
Strapped a vice to my chest
As if a knife fuelling for a life
And left with words which knew what wasn’t
And feared the unknown end of a faceless sky
And tomorrow had no name
So tonight I say goodbye
I was anxious and cold and felt like a dream
Surreal like the in between scenes of a dying love.
Called a colour of the eyes
For a time to arrive
And stood like a strand on the field with the flies
And waited for the death of promise to show as a sight
And tomorrow had no name
So tonight I’ll say goodbye
Came a pair chained in a comfort of shy arms
With palms dangling with a sway of a swing.
Danced like sweet gin
With hands heavy on my skin
And started for the station while the grey came alive
And in false disguise set the moon over the sun
And tomorrow has no name
So tonight we say goodbye
Simply and so sweetly my eyes were tuned
To say hello with a toned casual like glance.
Distanced the end of time
As this night became motorised
And sprung like a diver into a water of candy sea
And felt like a crippling wreck against the sunset
And because tomorrow has no name
Tonight is my last goodbye
Act II
I was well rehearsed like an actor would seem
While reaching for memorised lines to cope.
Alienated my body
From all my being
And found the flow of a wave like the lies of a thief
And followed the set sun which had sank behind me
And realised tomorrow has no name
So why say goodbye to the night
Propped like a scarecrow in a field of marine shrub
Who feared a horizon that diminished with doubt.
Bathed outside in moonlight
While smoke healed a fire
And bled blood on the water which burned like a dream
And my feet caught the flames of the fleeting day
And tomorrow has no name
So goodbye to the night
The air felt heavy and the world began to fly
My skin was a canvas being painted with noise
Elevated with the music
As wind blew through me
And soared me steadily towards a now straying destiny
And the darkness of the clouds unmatched the midnight
And tomorrow was soon coming
So was it time for a goodbye?
There was a blur that hid somewhere in time
As I sought to find this missing mind of mine
Presented with a chance
Should have stolen a dance
And share a moment so perfectly planned like fate
And fulfill a cadance to the night which would forever resonate
And come tomorrow I will free this sin
So praise be to this momentary escapism
Act III
In a flash I saw Venus whirling towards the Earth
But with a daphne hue that opened eyes wider than the sun
Exchanged words and a bond
Over poetry and constellations
And soon beginnings were forgotten as new life bloomed
And a muse for the thin trees to grow was a moon-like smile
And now tomorrow had a new name
So to the night - goodbye
So as the day sent flying an invitation with soft hands
There was a hesitation to grasp and follow its pull
Enthralled by redness of mystery
The panicked heart pounded
And posed imperfectly with a grin screaming with fear
And made shy eyes across the ocean of stars with a wonder
And what did tomorrow have to say?
So was the thought which lingered
When the skies were dim I saw two planets collide
It was a spear puncturing stars enflated by angel dust
All sweetness turned sour
All laughter got louder
And ecstacy was consumed through evergreen eyes
And the tides magnified inside a body drowning under the light
And tomorrow had found itself a new name
It had already said goodbye
And so the night remained nameless and so did I
I couldn’t recognise the day’s eyes as yeasterday never walked by
Actuality begins to wake
As dawn began to break
And like a reflection on the sea, light sailed in like shards of glass
And the faceless sky was haunting with its curious scars
And tomorrow was gone like a stranger would go
And so was gone its inevitable goodbye
____________________________
